Shopping for a wedding dress is one of the pivotal moments in your journey as a Bride, a time filled with anticipation, excitement and bewilderment. It is a big moment, a huge decision and of course it may seem natural to share it with all your favorite people.
In this article we are going to explore some of the reasons why it might NOT be as good as you think!
For a number of reasons is it best to only bring those who you trust have your best interest at heart. Before inviting anybody other than you and your bestie, you need to consider the following…
- Shopping for your dress is a delicate matter. You want to stay calm and level-headed as possible at all times. Dealing with interpersonal politics and psychological dynamics is the last thing you want to worry about.
- Even though it is nice to have every close friend along, it might be hard for them not to let their personal opinions overshadow.
- Your mother seem like the obvious choice of person to bring right?
Mothers (and grandmothers) have been dreaming about this moment for longer than you have. They are likely to have strong opinions of what you should wear, in many cases more conservative, modest and possibly outdated too. Your parents might be paying and thus may feel a strong need to have a say in the matter. But as all loving mothers should, whilst at the appointment she needs to respect your judgment and trust your ability to make the right choice for yourself.
Mothers often overestimate of how much their opinion should matter, so if you think your mother is in the risk zone of overstepping the limit, be clear on what the boundaries are in advance. If mother is suggesting you wear the dress she picks because she is buying it, perhaps it is even better if you pay for your own dress, if that is the culprit.
- Wedding dresses is a source of so much joy, but finding one can be a charged subject and even close friends could end up get opinionated or overly passionate. You can expect a certain amount of competition amongst the group as well – everyone wants to be the one that picks the right dress!
- People might pull faces when you step out from the dressing room, or even put words in to your mouth, making it hard for you to hear your inner voice.
- There are many dresses to choose from – and there will be good and bad aspects in every dress – why it is important to listen carefully to what you like and don’t like in each one you try. Those insights will lead you faster to the Right gown. Nobody else but you can interpret the signals.
- Just think about how individual a wedding dress is. Would all the guests know what wedding dress style truly resonates with your Bridal You?
When someone in your entourage tells you that this dress is so “YOU”, ask yourself if it is your Bridal You as well.
- Brides need to figure out for themselves what type of Bridal look they desire. You will have to try quite a few dresses, some space to reflect on it as well.
- Some of your bridal salon guests may have never worn a wedding dress, or if they have, it could have a long time ago, or an entirely different style of wedding, venue or season, as well as Bridal ideals! Their opinions on a wedding dress might be based on very different parameters than yours.
- You guests may not know about current wedding fashions, meaning they would advise against an idea you picked up and adore which is totally in vouge. Those dramatic sleeves and high neck might be counterintuitive to someone who got married 10 years ago and still insists on strapless.
- With too many people in the room, chances are that you will get confused, not feel able to make yourself heard, or in worst case: pushed into believing your own opinion is wrong.
- You don’t want to feel pressured into making a decision. As well as navigating through lots of dresses that all seem good in their own way, the final decision is a very sensitive one.
What matters the most is that you know that they stand by your side.
Take only those that support you unconditionally and just want to see you happy. At all times, remember that you are not buying a dress to please your entourage!
The trick is to bring the right people – and not too many of them. The ultimate number of guests is between 1 and 3.
Let them know what you are looking for before the appointment so that they are aware of where your heart is set. Whoever you bring, needs to be made aware of what you like, what you are not looking for and how much you want to spend on the dress.
A note on “the right people”
The right person to bring is someone you know is gentle, respectful, neutral to the outcome and know your style well and what kind of wedding you have in mind.
If you have chosen the right people, they would never purposefully stop you from wearing what makes you happy, what they knew was your ultimate dress dream, even thought they would never wear it themselves.
-They would read your body language and facial expression and let that determine how they react to the dress, before passing judgment.
-They would be encouraging when they saw you happy, and not let you waste time in a dress that they could tell you didn’t like.
-They would never criticize a dress unless you had done it first. And if they did, they would use their words carefully.
-If they saw that you loved a dress, they would support you even though it was not their own style.
They are their to support your decisions, not make the decision for you.
There is no right or wrong dress – the main thing is that you feel great when wearing it!